wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Randomize
