I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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