Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
