we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
