Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
