i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
