yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So many bounce houses so little time
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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