I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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