love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
