i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
