Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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