It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
