i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
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