how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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