dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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