Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
