NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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