I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
