Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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