The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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