"it" just moved
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
