sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
