Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
