I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
how drunk are you?
Several
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
