Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize