I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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