I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
