Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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