You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
