so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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