just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
