im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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