That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
