I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
