Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
