i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize