I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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