do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
