guys are only as good as the porn they watch
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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