I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
