maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
handjob tips. give me some.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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