I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
