is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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