can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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