Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
