Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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