his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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