I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
