He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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