I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
