I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Are my feet made of real feet?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
