Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
