so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
