Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
