I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
