oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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