just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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