Already got asked if we're dating
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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