How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
