I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
is that a dick in a sweater?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
