The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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