im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
