I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
