She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
