do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
there is glitter all over my balls
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
