Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize