That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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