oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
