My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
