Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
