I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize