Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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