I just threw up on my dentist
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize