I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
