you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
