You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
